Hello My Name is Fatass

Waking up this fine morning I found a most disturbing thing. The only cereal left was the detestable Honey Smacks, still it lingered after three days of avoidance. Finally I did what needed to be done. I went to Walmart.

Upon my cold and even more rainy drive to the Mecca of all cheapness a sudden craving crept about my brain. Doughnuts.

So I arrived in the store. First thing I checked was the doughnuts. And there they stood. Even boxed up and ready to go, how convenient and courteous. So how could I no longer resist the twelve sugary devils. So for the cheap price of $3.75 I grabbed the box to further ruin my health.

Never would I abandon my original mission though. So I went straight to the cereal aisle. I didn't even give that seductive ice cream section a glance of my time. Although it was very tempting.

Then I was there in the middle of being stared at by the entire cast of those breakfast of champions. Tony the Tiger told me Frosted Flakes was the way to go. I scoffed at his folly. Then the cracked out Trix rabbit spazzed for my attention so I flexed a mighty bicep to scare him away. Then I saw the helplessly delicious MOM's cereal of shredded frosted wheat. This was my choice. It was cheaper and somewhat healthier than the others, but the bonus of all was it held the most cereal. Hi-5 for smart shopping. To chill the shredded wheat I of coarse bought whole milk with the richness of vitamin D to nourish the marrow inside my bones.

Thus is the tale of a Saturday morning. And time to feast.